Thursday, February 19, 2015

Well, tomorrow marks another year since I lost my baby boy.  23 years....This time 23 years ago I was at home anticipating what the next day would be like.  It was HELL!  I've already talked about that in my first post.  Tomorrow I am going to do a balloon release in honor of Tyler.  I am going to get 23 balloons, preferably all blue, and 1 that says, "Happy Birthday" on to "grow" on.  I think this is finally a healthy, poignant way in which I can deal with my loss.  I will be at work, but my boss has had a similar experience and is very understanding.  At 3:00, I'm going to clock out because once I release those balloons, I won't be any good to them after that.  That's actually a good thing.  I need to literally let the tears flow, and let it go or at least start trying to let it go.  That doesn't mean I'll ever forget or grieve or miss him, but I can start a process that's long overdue.  My life drastically changed the day I lost him.  A part of me died, and I want it back.  I'll post pics tomorrow. 

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